Isagenix

So, recently my friend Patrick has become obsessed with Isagenix, a nutritional supplement network marketing company (ok, so I don't really know how to describe it, despite having had to listen to it constantly for the past couple of months...all I know is that they have nutritional supplements and that they're supposed to be really good for you. And all natural or something like that. Sorry, Patrick, I failed you on the sales side of things...)
Anyway, he's been trying to convince me to try this cleanse that he did when he first started with the company, because it's evidently the best thing ever. Last week, I made a deal with him:
I was looking for someone to run this 5k with me.
So, I told him that, if he would run it with me, I would do the cleanse.

Agreed. Cleanse on.

I also told Mom that I would blog throughout this whole thing, just to keep her updated (sorry, Mom...failing in that area too) I'll do a quick update to this point.

Basically, this is based around two types of days: Shake days, which consist of a protein shake, meal, protein shake set-up, and Cleanse days, which consist of alternating an Aloe Vera juice cleanse with these snack tablet wafer thingys....

I started last Sunday with two shake days, which weren't too difficult, except that the protein powder I ordered, French Vanilla, is pretty nasty by itself. I learned pretty quick that you need to blend some other stuff in, so I (with the permission of my "nutritional consultant" Patrick) started mixing in frozen berries (no sugar added) or peanut butter and banana. That helped a ton.
About 2pm on Sunday, I got a call from Patrick "just to check up" and see how I was doing. I didn't figure I had had enough time to mess anything up (especially since these were just prep days)...wrong. Turns out this is one of those things you HAVE to do the snack, even when you aren't hungry. After listening to his lecture on having to do things EXACTLY LIKE THEY'RE WRITTEN ON THE SCHEDULE (and the gasp of horror and shock when I asked if I could drink black coffee...just to see what kind of reaction I would get...he said no.) I had a snack of baby carrots and broccoli. And then a shake a few hours later. And repeated the same thing the next day.


Morning of the second day, I learned something about myself (ok, maybe relearned something):

I am addicted to caffeine. Seriously.

The question the day before was just to see if I could get a reaction. But by 10am on Monday, the question is no longer in jest. I needed SOMETHING with caffeine in it. And every time I brought it up, Patrick just said "drink some water. This is your body working the toxins out. It'll be really good in the end."

...I'll show you toxins.


Tuesday: I'm finally ready to start (and my head doesn't pound every time I move. Caffeine withdrawal: complete) Beginning with 2 cleanse days. 4oz of this aloe vera juice (which doesn't taste awful, but it doesn't taste fantastic....it tastes like they tried to make it taste like some sort of Tropical Delight flavor, but it just tastes...ok.) Wait 2 hours, then eat these "Isagenix Snacks!" (yup, exclamation point and everything) What they really are are these nickel sized wafer tablet things that you chew and they get all chalky and powdery. (Not unpleasant, just kinda there. Vanilla-y.) Wait 2 hours and repeat, while drinking water throughout the day. You do the juice 4x, Snacks! 3x.
I wasn't super hungry most of the day, but I figure if this is all you're going to consume for two days straight, you can't help but lose a pound or two. But we'll see just how fantastic this ends up being.

During Cleanse Day 2, I started to notice something: All food sounded good. I wasn't really hungry, but any time someone talked about food (tacos, enchiladas, sandwiches, cookies...anything), my first thought was "Hmmm, that sounds good. When I can eat food again, that's what I want"

Then, I got a check up call on the evening of my cleanse day: How are things going? How are you feeling? What are you eating for your snacks?

Wait. What? What am I eating for my snacks? Why are you asking that like there are options? Only the wafers....just like the sheet says.

No, there's a little blurb at the bottom that says "other snack ideas"....like apples and nuts and other food items.

What?!? Mine doesn't have that. Anywhere.

Eventually I had to send him a picture of my guide to prove there was nothing like that on there and I wasn't just not eating food for the heck of it.

Turns out, they just changed the guides...I could have been eating something other than those wafers all along.

Day 3, you're back to shake days again for the next several days. But they start you out taking your measurements (updating the ones you took when you started) Moment of truth. Is this going to be worth it? (Or will it seem like it's worth it after 2 days? 4 if you count the prep days)